i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
