if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
