with your own penis?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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