I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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