If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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