Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
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He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
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My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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