Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
