No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
