i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize