Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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