Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
