I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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