I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
