My underwear smells like fireworks.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
