when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
