So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Randomize