Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize