u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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