dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
