is your mom at the bar?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
