hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
They have beer where we have blood.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
