I wish my penis had an off switch
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize