u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you didnt know i had herpes?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize