I have demons in me.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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