But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
the night ended with taco bell and tears
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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