And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
two words: eviction party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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