im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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