WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
