More tranny stories later!
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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