he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
