Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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