One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He? As in you personified your dick?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize