so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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