i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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