How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
