this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
