So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I have fence marks all over my body
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
