The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
