I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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