I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
