i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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