Sponge bath it is.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Randomize
