I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
