loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
