Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
