Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
