i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize