why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
