...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
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