Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
operation have a gay friend backfired
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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