I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
