Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
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