How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize