I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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