i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize