yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
