Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
