This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
