my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
